Turning 50/Finding Idenity…again.

Michele TrotmanBrightness from within.

Journey on even when you can't see where the path leads. Journey on even when you can’t see where the path leads.

mid·dle age

  1. the period between early adulthood and old age, usually considered as the years from about 45 to 65.

Soooo I’m only 5 years into this craziness? Uggggg. At the risk of sounding melancholic and like someone lacking hope and purpose, I feel like I am in a state of limbo. I never really thought I would be this person who sits for hours thinking and not taking action. I have always been a mover, goer, doer. Some days I have even thought about going back to bed, waking back up, making fresh coffee and starting over. I have been living life so quickly and so in the moment that I really never thought about the day I wouldn’t be needed much at home. The day that my girls would be living their own lives. I guess I thought that I would still be involved in their lives daily. I mean we do have close relationships but they don’t need me the way they used too. They are spreading their wings and flying. (Proud momma moment for sure) This is the time when couples really find out how good of friends they are right? Like they start to have more free time for each other, the way it was when they were dating. But what if you never had much of a friendship or dating life for that matter? This is real life for many couples. The big decision at this point is whether or not the vow and commitment that was made so many years prior is strong enough to withstand the loneliness. Finances can be a hugh stress as well, especially if plans were not put in place. We walk through life asking, “what is my purpose for today”, or any day? Well, now that you have read what sounds like an exit letter I will now interject what has kept me sane and moving forward. It may sound way too simple but learning my identity as God designed me to be has been a life saver. I have come a very long way, shed many tears, felt many emotions and now am being polished even brighter. I have told my girls on a few occasions that we are responsible for our own success and happiness. Why is it so hard though? I know that everything happens for a reason and a purpose. Each day only happens once, never to be done over. We only have this one life, yet here I sit. Well, at this time of discovery I have decided to do more writing and reaching….Out to others who need to feel they are not alone on their journeys. We were not made to live a life alone. My hope is that as I share my story here you will find hope, healing, and restoration. Let’s press on together and become the brightest of diamonds so that others will not be able to miss the brilliance shining from within us.