Where do you feel the discomfort in your body? Are you listening?

Faye HallUncategorizedLeave a Comment

This is a safe zone right? Where does that hit you in your body?
Y’all know I am going through a coaching program which means we peer coach to practice. I coach a peer and they coach me. It’s amazing and I am so grateful. My fellow coaches are amazing and I am so blessed to have met them. While the process can be tough, the growth is fantastic. Self-awareness is hard you guys but the outcome makes me smile (And laugh or cry at times!).
This week, my coaching was around “how do I grow in the skill of communicating directly when there is conflict?”. I tend to yield in certain conflicts for various reasons. WHY? Because I am afraid of it. I want to be ‘armed’ (My choice of words that I now realize sounds like an act of war) for retaliation (also another word used for combat). See where I am going here?
I am not afraid of conflict per se in most situations, but in a situation that isn’t rational or considerate, I want to be ‘armed’ for a fight. Now THIS!. There is also a story I am telling myself that not all situations are ‘healthy conflict’. Those situations I feel are healthy, I am good to debate healthily. Those situations that don’t perceive as safe I shy from.
Several things came up and I am sitting in my session being present accessing where it shows up in my body as we talk.
My lower back / kidney area has been sore for days. as is the front of my git. Like I am wearing a spare tire of lead. I thought it was dehydration impacting my kidneys so I was using K&B, Juniper and lemongrass and drinking water like I am floating.
So we are talking through my war phrases and wording Presence Pause. As we coach, I breath, I re center and feel where it lands in my body. My Kidneys. Guess what’s next. You guessed it! My blue emotions book.
I look up fear of conflict and what do you know. Fear of conflict is associated with the part of the lower back which is the adrenal cortex. WHOA! WAIT WHAT?
So, Fear of conflict… an emotion, is actually causing my physical discomfort? You betcha!
Me…… act of war and feeling like I need to be armed is defenseless. Trigger point? You guessed it! Adrenal Cortex!
So my adrenal cortex is screaming because of the inner dialog and emotions I have. It’s quite fascinating.
There are 2 good sides to this story.
1. I became aware of this war theory in my mind which is not healthy and not serving me. Now I can do something about it.
2. The oil for adrenal cortex and this emotion…. Are you ready.. VALOR!!! So now I get to use valor on my back every day! Several times a day. You know I love valor!
In all seriousness. Emotions do hit us physically. The questions is, are you listening? Sit. Take a few mins and breathe. What’s showing up? Where do you feel it in your body? We don’t often stop for long enough to notice. Where do you feel it? What do you notice?
It gave me an additional data point into the Adrenal fatigue Epidemic that is hitting so many of us in the world. If 60% of humans are not engaged at work and 80% of us are ‘tired’. Could this be part of it? More research required from me.
My Symptoms of adrenal fatigue
1. Can’t get up in the morning
2. Tired at 2pm. Like more than tired
3. Lack of interest for fun stuff because you are tired
4. Lower back tenderness or soreness (on the backside of the waist)
5. Weight gain. (OK I can’t blame it ALL on adrenals)
6. Cravings for salty foods
My solutions
1. Affirmation: I am at peace. (Opposite of war)
2. Limit Caffeine. Ok. This is a process. Just have one cup less than yesterday.
3. Cortistop at night. 2 capsules. Have to control that cortisol.
4. Valor and Goldenrod on my lower back (adrenal Cortex) several times a day
5. Lots of water
6. Adrenal Blend roller several times a day
7. Lots of alkalime. If blood is alkaline it makes the job of our kidneys easier.
I have to do some work to determine where this fear and ‘armed’ became a learned behavior, Our fear is conditional. Yet it shows up every single day not unlike PTSD. Our fear and avoidance is a learned behavior. What part of that is your truth now?
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